Taylor gets her first spanking and is shocked at the bruising. What's normal? What's not?



This may not be the correct way to contact you but I've never done this before. So here goes.

I just had my first spanking. It was for something real but only went so far. In other words, it didn't take me to any particular edge but definitely hurt some. Can you believe that as real as the experience was, I was more concerned about how he was doing and what it was doing to him emotionally? I was worried about him the entire time. At the same time, I was definitely living the experience to the fullest!

My question is around bruising. I am in great shock over how I look! My backside looks blood red with dark, purplish bruising that is one huge bruise. It really wasn't that intense of an experience so I was really surprised. Is this normal? It was a hand spanking and didn't seem to last that long. My panties were left on the whole time which turns out to have been a good thing. He was really shocked and felt very badly when he saw the result. He's never done this before by the way. I told him it was ok and I've talked with him several times since to make sure he knows it's ok and nothing bad happened.

What should we expect in the future about bruising? I expected maybe a little bruising but not my entire backside to look like it does. It looks like I've been badly beaten which isn't true at all. It happened 2 nights ago and it is still just as intensely colored as it was after the spanking. He thinks it is starting to recede. I'm not so sure. Are there ways to minimize it? I'm a white woman but not fair-skinned. In other words, I can tan or burn depending on use of sunscreen, time in the sun, etc...

It was a long time coming for me to get to this point of even sharing my fantasy with someone. I am a very private person so it is a big deal that I am even writing to you about this. I just don't know who else to turn to to help me with my questions.

Thank you for your time.


From Jim:

Hi Taylor,

Bruising (or as we like to say it, marking) occurs when blood vessels are broken and blood leaks out under the skin. This can be mild or severe and many times does not really correlate with the severity of the spanking. Fortunately, even rather severe marking is not dangerous (just ask them in Singapore, where judicial caning is still used) but can leave both of you wondering how you ever thought this would be fun. You are lucky that you have good communications with your husband and can reassure him that things are OK. In this modern, Politically Correct world, men are especially sensitive to the concept that they are "beating" their wives and may be horrified at the spectacle of a well-marked behind. And when this happens the first time out, they may just shake their heads and say, "Never again!"

Bethany and I have found that a good, slow warm-up period makes a great deal of difference as to whether or not there is marking. If your husband starts out slowly, with light spanks and then gradually builds up to the more intense spanking, the skin on your bottom will begin to warm and the capillaries will dilate, giving that lovely red appearance we all know and appreciate. He should continue in this fashion until your bottom is rather uniform in appearance before progressing further. At this point we have found that even a pretty intense spanking leaves little in the way of lasting marks and that most of them don’t stay long—say several days to a week at most.

As your experience builds up, you will find that your skin accommodates to the spanking and that you will have very little marking, even without a warm-up period. This works well for punishment spankings, since not having a warm-up period makes a spanking quite unpleasant and very hard to take, particularly if it is rapid and hard. A couple of these and you will most definitely mend your ways!

The last comment I’d like to make is that once you are ready to move beyond hand spanking, you want to select your first implements carefully. I would recommend you read my article "On Implements." There is a pretty lengthy discussion about which implements are good for new spankers and which to avoid. Particularly do NOT start out with a hairbrush! You might want to consider the paddleball game paddle we have available at the Spanking Store. It is light and quite suitable for a beginning spanker.

From Bethany: Bruising varies a great deal from person to person. Although "conventional wisdom" is that light-haired fair-skinned women bruise the most, this is not always true. Some fairly light women (myself for example) bruise very little. From your description, it sounds however that you bruised a lot more than average. It's my guess that the majority of spankees would probably not bruise so vividly after a spanking that was perceived as being not that severe. It is true, however, that your body will accustom itself to being spanked after awhile, and bruising diminishes. It's also true that hormonal changes will cause your body to vary in how heavily you bruise. Most women find that they bruise much more easily close to their periods or when pregnant.

Bruising is certainly not necessary to "prove" that an effective spanking has taken place. As Jim says, above, hard and fast (perhaps even with a lighter implement), in my opinion often gives a more indelible impression than a slower spanking with a heavier implement, even though the former might leave no bruising at all and the latter leave some rather impressive marks.

You state that you are shocked by the appearance of your bottom, but don't mention your husband's reaction. If he used his hand, or a very light implement, and you still bruised as you described, there's probably not a lot that can be done. If he's upset by it, encourage him to visit some of the advice forums on various sites. We run several on our sister site, Spankspot, and there are many forums on Yahoo, Delphi, and elsewhere. There are many experienced spankers who will reassure your husband that a few bruises never killed anyone. (Something that I get told from time to time...) If he interacts with a few other spanking men amd begins to feel confident in this activity, you might be able to get to the point where your focus is on what it should be on during a spanking - your backside - and not on him.

I read something once regarding this issue and spanking - my apologies to whomever I am borrowing this from. "Bruising is neither a requirment nor a catastrophe." It's quite possible to give an amazing spanking with nary a mark four hours later - it's possible to have a butt which looks like a mine field and not feel you got much of a spanking.

I hope this is some help to you. Let us know how things go!

Jim and Bethany

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