What about spanking in public? Stacey wants to know .



Dear Bethany-

I was wondering how you feel about spankings in public. I should tell you that my husband has threatened me with this a few times loud enough for others to hear. We've gotten some very strange looks.

It's never happened - but it makes me nervous.


Dear Stacey-

I know that the threat of the public spanking is a common one in our fantasy literature. Who among us has not thrilled to a hero from one of the stories growling into his lady's ear - "You do that again, and I'll put you over my knee here and now." Ask five "spanko" what their favorite fantasy is; I'll be three of them will mention some variation of the schoolroom (i.e, public) spanking.

One of the more popular stories on the website, the fantasy sci -fi Hidden Worlds has as one of its mainstays the idea of continual public punishment - that women are spanked wherever and when ever they "require" it.

Alas, this is one area where fantasy and reality REALLY diverge. For some couples, it begins like this: They discover DD, feel it has totally changed their relationship, and are tempted to share it with everyone - the minister and his wife, nice Mrs. Jones down the street, Grandma, everyone. The second scenario is the wife who is completely in test mode and is pushing for that "real" no in completely inappropriate times and places. In both cases, though, the temptation to act on the spanking relationship, whether in words (sharing it) or deeds (actually giving a spanking) is definitely there.

My advice: Don't do it. NO matter how much you are tempted no matter how much you think the neighbor's wife needs a spanking too no matter how much of brat she's being at the mall the political climate in this country right now is NOT (and likely never will be again) open at all to anything that suggests violence towards women or children. I'll share the following story from my correspondence. A woman I write to was acting up in a shopping mall early in her marriage (this is in the mid - late eighties). They had a DD relationship already and she was really testing him and his resolve on a fairly regular basis. She was being spanked thoroughly probably 2 - 3 times/week.

On this particular day, she wanted a dress that was not in their budget. From what I understand, she came just about as close as an adult woman could to throwing a full- fledged tantrum in the store. Finally, in exasperation, he snapped, "That's it. You're getting a whipping," and he marched her, not all that gently, out of the store.

Unfortunately, the sales woman overheard the comment. The husband in this case was a "good old boy," from an area of the country where "whipping" was (and still is) used as a synonym for spanking. The sales lady however was apparently not from that part of the country, and envisioning barns and leather and blood, was not at all amused. She called the police. In addition, she sent her associate after them so they could obtain the license plate of the car so the police would be able to go the home.

The police arrived within a few minutes and met the associate in the parking lot. The license number was not necessary, because the couple hadn't LEFT the parking lot. He was spanking her in the back of their van! The woman quickly pointed out the car, and before the couple knew what was happening, a police car had pulled up behind the van, and an officer was peering through the window.

Within two minutes two more cars were there.

The husband was handcuffed - the paddle that he was using (which had been conveniently stowed in the glove box for just such occasions) was handed around among the police officers and examined seriously. A female officer took the woman aside and encouraged her to go to the hospital so she could be examined for signs of abuse. She was asked if he treated the couple's children "that way." Fortunately, at the time they were childless.

Long story short - after roughly 45 hideous minutes, during which she made it clear she did not want him charged - they finally let them go. This couple got out of it with nothing more than some terrible embarasment and a good scare. However, the political climate has changed in the last 10-15 years in the country. Fifteen years ago, in many places, it was much more difficult for the police to charge an "abusive" husband without the wife's cooperation. No more. Now, in many places, he'd be charged no matter what the wife said.

Secondly, the couple did not have children. Had they had children, even 15 years ago, it is possible that social services would have opened an investigation into the family, again regardless of what the mother said.

Spanking in public is no joke. To anyone who is unintiatied it looks like abuse. Period. Don't risk it. I cannot even image what my partner would do to me if I ever acted up sufficiently to embarrass him in public, but I don't want to find out. Once or twice, when I have perhaps started to get a little too outspoken about this or that, he's informed me that it will be "discussed" later ("discuss," by the way is a very good euphemism for spanking couples. Discuss means I'm probably getting a spanking, yet no one listening would ever glean that.)

Some women who do act up in public do so because their partners have tacitly encouraged it as a game. Again, my advice: spanking is private. The fact that it happens is your relationship is private. Don't do it in public, and only share it with people who you are absolutely certain will be supportive. The consequences if the wrong people would see or hear could be so negative, that you just don't want to "go there."



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