Nikki asks about whether she should still be subjected to maternal spankings.



Dear Bethany,

I came across your page while surfing the web and would love your advice, being so experienced in these matter as you so obviously are.

I'm a 36-yr-old divorcee who has been living with her mother for the past two years ever since my divorce. Trouble is, my mum still thinks I should be subject to her rigid rules etc about the house, and if I fail to obey these rules she thinks I should still be subject to the sort of discipline I was as a child and teenager (she gave me a spanking just a week before I left home to marry at the age of 22!).

The long and short of it is, for the past two years, averaging about once every couple of months or so, something I do or don't do will upset mum, she'll order me upstairs to her bedroom and, after a stern lecture, it's over her knee, skirt up, panties down and she proceeds to soundly spank me with palm and/or hairbrush until, usually, I can't help boo-hooing like a baby!

How can I get it through to her I'm too old for this humiliating treatment? You do agree with me, don't you?

Yours sincerely,

Nikki Kane


Dear Nikki-

Just as in a husband/wife "domestic" discipline situation, ultimately the consent and control rests with the spankee. In the Western world (I am not talking about places like Afghanistan here) no woman need ever remain in a relationship which involves corporal punishment unless she wishes it.

Most of us who are physically "corrected" by our husbands/partners feel that we consent to the relationship... even though individual "sessions" might be without our consent. Believe me, there have been numerous times I've heard the words "You're getting a spanking," and my response has been "No, I'd rather not." My objections are ignored.

I PERSONALLY find a situation where a 36 year old woman is still spanked by her mother a bit unusual. But I realize that many people (perhaps MOST) would find the idea that I regularly get turned over my partner's knee and walloped until I cry equally "unusual," if not down right sick. But it makes sense to me, it "works" for my life, and I am not interested in justifying it to others.

If you believe that you are too old for this humiliating treatment, you have two choices. You can discuss it with your mother like the two adults that you are - and if her response is , "My house, my rules," then your response is to leave the relationship... i.e., move away.

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